How Silver the Hedgehog Ruined Everything

The Sonic the Hedgehog series is a fine series. However, it, and it's creator, SEGA, seem to be on their last legs at the moment. Here's why. We can blame all of this on a single character: Silver the Hedgehog.

Behold!

His Not-so-Notable Debut

Silver the Hedgehog first appeared in the little known PSP game Sonic Rivals. Sonic Rivals was pretty similar to the Sonic Rush and Sonic Advance games that came out around the same time. The level design was stark and linear. In addition, all the characters were carbon-copies of each other. Silver is against Eggman Nega.

The Badness Begins

The series had been in mediocrity-to-suckage for a while before Sonic the Hedgehog 2006 came out. Silver made his mainstream debut here. His gameplay was Big the Cat levels of slow and his story was a convoluted mess. Unfortunately, his gameplay was so awful, every other character was instantly branded as stupid BECAUSE OF HIM. 

Replacements, Replacements

In the spinoff game Sega Superstars Tennis, the playable Sonic characters were Sonic, Tails, Amy, Shadow, and Robotnik. Knuckles, Blaze, Big, Metal Sonic, and Silver showed up as cameos on the stag- wait, where the heck is Rouge? This was the first in a long line of undeserving replacements of poor, poor Rouge. Rouge is an interesting and compelling character. She steals jewels, but is still kind regardless. Silver is an annoying ripoff of X-Men's Cable.

The next replacement was in Sonic and the Secret Rings. The party mode roster consisted of Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, Cream, Shadow, Silver, and Blaze, as well as Jet as a came- What, were the heck did Rouge go? She's only in the galleries, and even then only on box art.

Next was Super Smash Bros Brawl. Sonic was playable, Shadow was an assist, and Tails, Knuckles, and Silver showed up on Green Hill Zone. Also, Amy, Cream, Blaze, Robotnik, some Chao, and freaking Jet of all people were trophies. Why no Rouge? Why Jet and Silver?

The last straw is when they started to demonize Rouge. In the Mario and Sonic series, Rouge is alwas a boss, while Silver (who tried to kill Sonic in cold blood), Metal, and even Robotnik himself were playables.


Buy All Our Playsets and Toys

The last reason I hate Silver is because he gets so many freaking toys. Before Silver came along and gunked up the series, everyone got equal share. Now it's just Silver this, Silver that. GIVE ME FIGURES OF THE FREAKING FEMALES FOR ONCE! AND MECHA SONIC AND EGGROBO!


Goodbye Fatty

Sega has recently announced they would retire Big the Cat. Even though he's hated almost as much as Silver, he's more unique and is a better fit than Mr. Cable Ripoff.

The Most Obscure Sonic Characters Of The Games Canon

You know Sonic, Robotnik, Tails, Knuckles, and a Robot Sonic. Some of you know Shadow, Amy, Silver, Blaze, more than one robot Sonics, and others. Fewer know of a number of scrapped and one-shot characters, and even some unused ones.
But do you know these suckers?:

Heavy The Mechanic

Heavy the Mechanic was a member of the original Chaotix crew.  He was a robot. To most people, he looked like just another Eggman robot. But he's actually good. In Knuckles Chaotix, partners were selected by a crane machine game. Randomly, Heavy (or Bomb) would be selected. Heavy slowed the other character down, but was invincible and could damage enemies. You could play as him by hitting a Heavy monitor or entering a code.

Bomb

Bomb was the other "lost Chaotix." He was selected by grabbing him out of a crane. He was totally useless, as he exploded upon being damaged and was weak even as playable.

Dr. Fukurokov

Dr Fukurokov right here was a boss in Tails Adventures. He just stood there. You beat him by dropping a boulder on the guy. He seemed to be an owl.

Wendy Witchcart

Wendy Witchcart was the final boss of the Japan-Only Tails Skypatrol. She was a witch who turned tresspassers into crystal. Somehow, Tails is a tresspasser and is threatened with crystalization. She rides a minecart.

Fockewulf, Bearanger, and Carrotia

These three were Witchcart's lackeys in the game Tails Skypatrol, and served as bosses. Very little is known about them. 

Sonic Man

Sonic Man was in Sonic The Hedgehog 2006, so his canonicity is unclear. Howevr, he is still just plain odd. You can talk to him and he races you. However, Sonic quickly outruns the poor fellow.

Hatsun

Hatsun is a pigeon who you can talk to in Sonic 06. He just says "coo" and flies off.

King Solomon

King Solomon is a skeleton king featured in Sonic and the Secret Rings. he rules Skeleton Dome and has to be put together by Sonic. He gives Sonic a grim warning.

Generic Animal Avatars

These guys appeared in Sonic's Schoolhouse, and were the playable characters. You played as them instead of Sonic, who was the guide.

And now, for what are probably the two most obscure Sonic characters ever made...

Hip and Hop

The above picture is fan art. These two are so obscure that I can't find a screenshot anywhere. They appeared in Sonic Spinball for the Megadrive, and were in Lava Powerhouse and helped Sonic.

A scathing review of the fiasco "Johnny Test"

 

Cartoon Network has this one show called Johnny Test. I hate it. Here's some reasons why:
1) Awful animation
The animation is so stiff and jerky! It feels like a grade school project of attaching pins to pieces of paper and moved them. It feels like molasses. The first seaswon's animation was okay, but it all went downhill in seasons 2 and beyond. Combined with the exaggerated facial expressions and pupil-less eyes, it can be quite unsettling, to say the least. In season 5, it actually got worse than before. Almost Naked Animals is just as bad as an offender in this department, as are "Scardey Squirrel", "NHL Rush Zone", "Sidekick", and an almost-forgotten Disney show called "Shorty McShort's Shorts."


2) Bad Writing
The writing is pretty poor compared to "Adventure Time", "Regular Show", "Gumball", or even "Ninjago" No originality occurs. It's a ripoff of "Dexter's Labratory." At least the first season had slightly better writing.
3) The Sound
 Johnny Test has a lot of loud screaming. Espeicially from Johnny, but Dukey's also a culprit. The sheer amount of screaming can cause MIGRANES. Also, the same rock riff plays all.the time in every transition. Every single freaking time a character's arm moves, you hear this annoying whip crack sound.
4) IT'S ON ALL THE TIME
Johnny Test is on Cartoon Network constantly, filling holes in the schedule that could easily be filled by "Chowder", "Camp Lazlo", "Ed, Edd, and Eddy", "Looney Tunes", "Pokemon", "Tom and Jerry", "Animaniacs", "Flapjack", or old Hanna-Barbara shows. This has lessened over time, but still.
5) IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE
The animation got worse in season 5, Dukey's actor left, and where's Dark Vegan?
 
Worst of all, my brother loves this show.